Addiction Recovery

Why Me?

Lesson 18

As an addict I often have asked the question to myself, others and especially God, Why me. Why is this happening to me, why am I an addict, why must this be my burden. It has also manifested as why am I broken and nobody can relate. 

God has slowly opened my eyes to asking why me isn’t the right question to ask. I’ll mention later the right question to ask. 

Here are my notes from this talk that has helped me put into words much of what I have learned.

"More Than Conquerors through Him That Loved Us" By Elder Paul V. Johnson - Link

"...Many have wondered why we must face difficult challenges. We know that one reason is to provide a trial of our faith to see if we will do all the Lord has commanded. Fortunately this earth life is the perfect setting to face—and pass—these tests."

Jason’s Note: What will you become as a result of what trials you have gone through? Will you change in good ways or become more bitter?

Elder Orson F. Whitney said: “No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. … All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable. … It is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire.”

"...Being good is not enough. We want to become like the Savior, who learned as He suffered “pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind.”

Warning - “In the midst of problems, it is nearly impossible to see that the coming blessings far outweigh the pain, humiliation, or heartbreak we may be experiencing at the time.”

Jason’s Note: This is why we live in consultation with God, trusted people (Friends, Sponsors, Spouses) and professionals like therapists. We often need an outside perspective, to keep our purpose and meaning at our core and to decide to move forward despite the setbacks. We must make meaning out of suffering and find our way though it instead of trying to just avoid the pain.

And now that I know the right question to ask, I see if all around me like how you buy a car and you now see it everywhere. All those that have learned something and become something after a trial ask this right question. They ask what is this for, what am I supposed to learn, what must I do differently now. And inevitably they learn that when they turn to God they can be made strong. Strong in this context means to me they have a more driven purpose, a deeper perspective of what matters and they have more patience and desire and strength to fight for what matters. 

“I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them." (Ether 12:27.)”

“Sometimes we want to have growth without challenges and to develop strength without any struggle. But growth cannot come by taking the easy way. We clearly understand that an athlete who resists rigorous training will never become a world-class athlete.”

Warning - "We must be careful that we don’t resent the very things that help us put on the divine nature."

Jason’s Note: Resentment is a feeling red flag for me. It means some loving relationship isn’t right and I want to fight smarter to help restore it or resolve it.

If we feel our trials are beyond our capacity, good, it's designed to get us to turn to God and then be able to do all things through Christs who strengthens us. 

“Our Heavenly Father loves us, and we “know that whosoever shall put their trust in God shall be supported in their trials, and their troubles, and their afflictions, and shall be lifted up at the last day.” Someday when we get to the other side of the veil, we want more than for someone just to tell us, “Well, you’re done.” Instead, we want the Lord to say, “Well done, thou good and faithful servant.””

Action Item

  • What do you want to say about your life at your funeral?
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